Headline Poem 6/15/14 -- Father's Day Part 2

My husband Scott and our daughter Skye

Yesterday, in honor of Father's Day, I wrote this Part 1 poem about my daddy and me at age six when he died. And, today... Part 2 dedicated to my husband. As I fell in love with the next most important man in my life, made beautiful babies, this age of six began to leave its mark in ways I'm still trying to understand. Even as I write this, I am learning more about me, and my favorite man.

Father's Day Part 2

When my daughter was born, I started to push
harder than I ever had before,
because I was afraid of loving you
and having what happened to me, happen to her.
The man I chose to worship and adore,
I feared would be no more...
so instead of holding you tighter and
bringing you in,
I built a wall of dried clay and mud,
and struggled to let you in.
We still loved,
but we spun and swirled in different directions.
We struggled to stay connected.
We didn't deserve it, but I thought we did.
So you ran away,
to the dog house of your youth,
you excused yourself,
and withdrew.
You who I chose above all others,
who loved me as a mother
and more than any other.

You will explain this all one day,
but in the meantime, I have a few things to say
about the man you are today.

My husband Scott,
father, lover, friend, and son --
you are a man of integrity and heart.
You read books about believers and mountains and art.
You lay down a blanket if our babies are cold,
you love to hold us, and cook, and laugh, and run.
I look into your eyes and I see a future so bright.
You are the man I need morning, noon, and night.
You are a part of me and I a part of you.
Our skin and souls and intuitions are connected to the wind.
I honor and respect you.
I love you, and will never shorten that phrase again.
Because once you find what we've found,
you never let it go.
Happy Father's Day to you, who I adore.