Thursday, July 3, 2014

Headline Poem 7/3/14 -- The cycle is complete.

The cycle is complete. 

The sun goes up and five years 
are gone. The vicious cycle has
come undone, finishing 
with an abrupt, traumatic end. 
It is complete. I 
rub my hands, 
washing and rinsing it away. 

We sigh. We drop to our knees. 
Thank God, 
(and everyone else watching over us). 
I don't ask, 'Where the hell have you all been?!' I know it had to happen this way. This not-so-quiet rage
had to rage for us 
to emerge 
  From ashes. 
  From dust. 

From beginning to end, we felt the rip and pull, 
and attempted to bandage each other's wounds -- mostly from slipping on puddles of salt from 
The loss 
Of us. 
and although 
some days had moments of smooth,
they were 
and ruled 
an intensity hard to name. A phantom. A ghost. An intruder who lurked,
With purpose we could not see through 
Our anger and hurt. 
We see it now. This horrible, dominant evil guest was really a welcome visitor. 
And yet... 
We've fed it Enough. The cycle is complete. 
We have no more for it to eat. 

I can't explain it other than to say,
although I curse it dead, I am glad it stayed. But. I'm even more glad 
to say goodbye, and send it. 
On its way. 

I feared for a long time, I'd never return. 
But I have. I did. 
Like wheat and wind and whispers, nothing can stay that low. 

I'm not ready to forgive, 
but I am ready. to forget. 
I am choosing to be happy. 
I am choosing to feel peace. 
I am grateful for this. 

The reward is what guides me. I cannot forget that through this we get the gift 
of better versions of ourselves. 

     For us, 
     for our children, 
     and for theirs. 

Amen. I am blessed.