The cycle is complete.
The sun goes up and five years
are gone. The vicious cycle has
come undone, finishing
with an abrupt, traumatic end.
It is complete. I
rub my hands,
washing and rinsing it away.
We sigh. We drop to our knees.
(and everyone else watching over us).
I don't ask, 'Where the hell have you all been?!' I know it had to happen this way. This not-so-quiet rage
had to rage for us
From beginning to end, we felt the rip and pull,
and attempted to bandage each other's wounds -- mostly from slipping on puddles of salt from
some days had moments of smooth,
an intensity hard to name. A phantom. A ghost. An intruder who lurked,
With purpose we could not see through
Our anger and hurt.
We see it now. This horrible, dominant evil guest was really a welcome visitor.
We've fed it Enough. The cycle is complete.
We have no more for it to eat.
I can't explain it other than to say,
although I curse it dead, I am glad it stayed. But. I'm even more glad
to say goodbye, and send it.
On its way.
I feared for a long time, I'd never return.
But I have. I did.
Like wheat and wind and whispers, nothing can stay that low.
I'm not ready to forgive,
but I am ready. to forget.
I am choosing to be happy.
I am choosing to feel peace.
I am grateful for this.
The reward is what guides me. I cannot forget that through this we get the gift
of better versions of ourselves.
for our children,
and for theirs.
Amen. I am blessed.