Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Headline Poem 1/7/14 -- Pass the Cheese!

(Photo credit kihm.wordpress.com)

For today's poem I wanted to find something a bit funny, weird, and out of the ordinary. After all, this is the day that completes my first full week of writing a poem-a-day-based-on-a-headline. (I feel like there should be a hashtag there somewhere #atruereflectionof2014). I wanted something that really caught my eye, you know like, "Clown Leaves Circus, Claims Costumes are Too Restricting!" Or "Landlord Evicts Tenant After She Posts Signs for Missing Fleas." I found this -- a Velveeta shortage! I hope it's not too cheesy. :) 

Pass the Cheese!

This just in...
We are experiencing a shortage
Caused by high demand
Sorry for the timing, but
Our advice is to load up on our brand

Advertising Age, the trade publication,
Started all this mess
Since when is Velveeta seasonal?
I call BS!

C'mon!
In the weeks leading up to the Superbowl
We have "factors" "contributing" to a "shortage"
Of cheesy, liquid gold!?

Creamy
Milky
Water
Milkfat
Milk protein concentrate
Whey protein concentrate
Sodium phosphate
Less than 2% of salt

Someone must be feeling nostalgic
Up in mighty Cheeseville-land
In the 1930's
Velveeta gained the upper hand
American Medical Association's seal of approval
For all those gooey curds and whey

Surely someone can cut enough  
So that these hungry dippers can dig in and play

The timing seems perfectly set up
Staged just right you see
Encourage
Busy
Working
Folk
To
Go
Out
And
Get more cheese!